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[bodyoftheseus]

« notanetrunner » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION V ✦ Cyberpunk 2077
RESIDENCE ✦ Emerald District, alone w/2 cats
GEMBOND ✦ Ruby
It's V; you know what to do.

INFO ✧ PERMISSIONS ✧ KINKLIST

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[bodyoftheseus]

[ It took quite a bit of V's self-control to bite back on a bitter comment and cage it behind his teeth, and he took a moment to swallow it down with a generous amount of liquor. ]

I... I'm sorry. I'm not good at all this. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do. All I ever done was find ways to just drown it all out.

[ And it was all he wanted to do now. Drink, have sex, or do anything else to shove this feeling deep down somewhere he didn't have to look at it, anything to ignore the exhaustion in his bones. ]

[secondconflict]

I get that. That's half the way I dealt with the shit in my life. [The other half was music, of course. But V's art is violence. He isn't sure what outlet they have for that here.]

Don't have to be good at this, V. Just haveta be.

[bodyoftheseus]

[ Violence was the path he was forced onto and the only one he'd ever known. It was true that V had no outlet for that and some part of him was rather restless, but it was not the time or place. ]

Just bein' was more Vin-

[ He caught himself and cut himself off, his jaw setting as he grew tense. ]

I'm sorry.

[secondconflict]

What for?

Talk to me.

[bodyoftheseus]

Just not something I want to bring up, doubt it's something you really wanna talk about.

[secondconflict]

[Kerry is tempted to leave it at that, but his desire to not deal with something unpleasant is what lead him to hide from everything the last couple weeks.]

Fuck what I want, what matters is what you need. But, if you don't wanna then I'm not gonna force ya.

[bodyoftheseus]

Don't know what I need. Sure know what I thought I needed, but maybe I wouldn't be here right now if I actually knew what I really need.

[He was quiet a moment, considering another drink. He opted against it as he looked back to Kerry. His face and presence was such a comfort.]

Haven't been this kinda hurt since I was a kid. Didn't think I'd find m'self in this kinda situation after that, but.

[A shrug.]

Guess it lends itself to your whole loops thing, much's I don't want to admit it.

[secondconflict]

Heartbreak has a way of rearin' its ugly head when you least 'xpect it. [He's been around long enough to know that's the case.]

I wanna say it will get better, but that shit always sounds like lip service. 'm here, though, if there's anythin' I can do to help.

[bodyoftheseus]

Doesn't rear its head if you don't let anyone close. [Which he already failed at, given Kerry. And then, of course, Vince.]

Issue is I don't know where to even begin with this kinda thing. Last time it happened like this I just decided not to let anyone in. [A drink.]

Worked great. Kept my head a nice'n tidy box. Worked hard, got my eddies, really built a life - even with the whole Johnny thing. Things were overall pretty good.

[He was quiet for a moment. He turned towards Kerry, letting his arm rest on the back of the couch behind Kerry.]

You make things complicated, you know that?